Let It Bee

1 week down, 114 to go.

It feels like it was months ago that I was sitting down to write my first post about starting school.  It was a whirlwind  first week and I already feel like my brain is nearing maximum capacity with all the new information I've been cramming into it.  Despite feeling a little bit overwhelmed, I'm happy to report that I'm extremely impressed with the program so far, mainly because of the strong emphasis it places on practical experience.  Case in point: Today - six days into the program - was my first day in hospital and my first patient assignment.  As a student nurse in this program, you get thrown right into the deep and and either sink or swim.  It sounds horrible (and it sort of is) but I think it's the best way to learn.  Already this has been a very different educational experience compared to the five years I spent in university getting my undergraduate degree in psychology; my experience at that university was such that I came away book-smart, street-stupid (Sarah Slean reference, anyone?).  Nursing can't be learned by reading a textbook, you have to get in there and (literally) get your hands dirty.  

That being said, however, it was more than a little anxiety provoking to go into the hospital as a student nurse with 6 days of experience under my belt and be assigned a patient.  Not to mention the fact that my day got off to a bit of a rough start: After meeting up with my clinical group and instructor outside, we were just about to enter the hospital when a giant bee landed on my hand and stung me.  I've never been stung by a bee in my life so of course it had to happen for the first time while I was busy trying to maintain a calm, confident demeanor and not let on to my classmates and instructor that I was terrified.  I yelped, the books that I was carrying went flying, everyone turned and stared.  Awesome.  I'm going to be known as that student who went into anaphylactic shock on the first day of clinical.  I tried not to view it as a bad omen, a sign from the nursing gods that I've made a terrible, terrible mistake by choosing their profession, but I have to admit that the thought crossed my mind. 

As much as I tried not to let it, that stupid bee sting threw me off for the first part of my day.  My hand was swollen and painful, I was distracted by the tiniest sensations in my body thinking that they could be signalling the start of a serious allergic reaction, and I felt embarrassed and upset that the calm, confident demeanor I'd been trying to achieve had been spoiled (because nothing makes you feel confident on your first shift as a student nurse like walking around holding an ice-filled specimen sample bag to your hand). 

I met my patient at the end of the day and got to do some very, very basic nursing care.  The only objectives today for the student nurses were to make sure our patients were breathing (always important), take a radial pulse, do a pain assessment, take a brief health history, and to make sure they were comfortable and safe.  I'm not completely happy with how my patient interview went.  After leaving the room I immediately thought of all the different questions I should have asked, the different ways I could have phrased things, the different things I wished I had done.  But I know I'm being hard on myself - I'm not supposed to be good at this yet.  I wish that a lot of things had gone differently today - starting with not being stung by that damn bee - but I know that I'm doing more of a disservice to my learning by sitting around dwelling on what could have been different than to just let it be, think about what I want to improve on, and try again next week.