There are days when I simply can't wait to put on my running shoes and get outside. On those days, I crave the rush of endorphins and the sound of my feet on the pavement like an addict jonesing for their next hit.
Today was not one of those days.
I had my day all planned out: school until 12:30, home by 1:15, run for an hour, homework until 5:00, dinner, go watch Dave's soccer game at 8:30, bedtime at 10:30. Everything was going according to plan until it was time for my run and I realized that I was exhausted, hungry, and that my bed had never looked cozier or more inviting. And then I heard it - the little voice of the devil on my shoulder telling me to ditch the run, get in my jammies and take a nap. Thus began the following battle of wills:
Just go for a run later this afternoon. You need some time to relax.
Once you start relaxing you won't want to stop.
You've had a stressful couple of days. You need to take it easy on yourself when you're stressed.
Getting some exercise will help with the stress. You need this.
But you're so tired.
Going for a run will make you feel less tired.
Going for a run will make you feel less tired.
You know what else will make you feel less tired? Having a nap.
If you go for a run, you'll feel so much better afterwards.
If you go for a run, you'll feel so much better afterwards.
But if you have a nap, you'll feel so much better now.
If you go for a run, you can eat that giant piece of leftover lasagna and not feel as guilty about it.
You and Dave are getting married - he has to stay with you forever even if you get fat.
OK, forget about running for an hour. Just go for 20 minutes and then see how you feel.
Just nap for 20 minutes and then see how you feel.
If you go for a run, you can eat that giant piece of leftover lasagna and not feel as guilty about it.
You and Dave are getting married - he has to stay with you forever even if you get fat.
OK, forget about running for an hour. Just go for 20 minutes and then see how you feel.
Just nap for 20 minutes and then see how you feel.
...And so on.
Sometimes that little voice in my head is just a whisper, other times it screams at me. I've gotten a lot better at standing up to it and reasoning with it, but it isn't easy and it still gets the better of me sometimes. But not today. I didn't end up meeting my goal of running for an hour, but I can live with that. The thirty minutes that I did run for were amazing - not because I ran particularly fast or far, but because they were my time to lose myself in some good songs and be alone with my thoughts.
Sometimes that little voice in my head is just a whisper, other times it screams at me. I've gotten a lot better at standing up to it and reasoning with it, but it isn't easy and it still gets the better of me sometimes. But not today. I didn't end up meeting my goal of running for an hour, but I can live with that. The thirty minutes that I did run for were amazing - not because I ran particularly fast or far, but because they were my time to lose myself in some good songs and be alone with my thoughts.
Running, like life, is unpredictable. There are days when it feels effortless to me and then there are days when one kilometer feels like a marathon. There are times when I'm struggling to put one foot in front of the other but then something happens - the endorphins kick in, the right song comes on, I pass another runner who gives me a knowing smile of encouragement - that gives me an extra spring in my step. There are days when I head out thinking it's going to be an amazing run and come home 10 minutes later with stomach cramps and runner's trots (don't laugh - it happens). And there are days - like today - when I'm tempted to listen to the voice of the devil on my shoulder, but I fight back, get out there, and end up loving every second of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment